Using Wisdom to Fight Loneliness
This article originally appeared on Medium.com 2/8/2021
Saving ourselves from the loneliness epidemic.
Prior to the COVID epidemic, former Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy was sounding the alarm on the loneliness epidemic. Now, with COVID in full swing creating further isolation, we are seeing an alarming increase in loneliness due to the need for isolation and social distancing. This has created a significant disruption to our ability to interact, and connect, with others.
As human beings, we are social creatures. Community and connection are essential to our survival. From sharing resources to emotional connection, we need others to help sustain our lives.
Dr. Murthy makes the case that when we are disconnected from others, we are in a stress state. He also goes on to say that, “It turns out that loneliness is associated with a reduction in your lifespan you see with smoking 15 cigarettes a day.”
In some ways, when we are disconnected from others, our lives are at risk. We can look at the hoarding of resources, such as toilet paper, to illustrate this disruption to our feelings of safety and stability.
With the disconnection from our community and support networks, and the very real threat of the Coronavirus, many people are being pushed to their limits emotionally. Recent research has shown that the loneliness epidemic is only getting worse with the advent of the Coronavirus.
According to one study, 49% of research participants reported being lonely, depressive symptoms were reported in 80%, moderate to severe anxiety in 61%, harmful quantities of alcohol consumption in 30%, and severe drug use in 38%. In addition, “loneliness was associated with higher levels of mental health symptomology.” These are staggering statistics.
While these statistics are worrisome, the good news is that we are not without options. In my last writing, I wrote about how people can Use Wise Reasoning to Improve Conflict with Others. Well, I’m here to tell you that wisdom, once again, can be deployed to help us remedy this loneliness epidemic.
One study shows a strong negative association of wisdom with loneliness. This study reasons that wisdom could be critical as a mental health intervention to improve feelings of loneliness. They go as far as suggesting that “building a wiser society may help us to develop a more connected, less lonely, and happier society.”
I don’t know about you. But, you can count me in.
For me, personally, this signals something far greater than just developing wisdom and reducing loneliness. It points to creating a society that is more accepting, flourishing, and grounded. This feels like a win on many levels to me. Especially as we look into the world and we are watching political, economic, and ecological collapse in many places.
Research has also shown that, in old age, wisdom is positively related to subjective well-being under adverse circumstances. The study used the three-dimensional wisdom model which integrates a combination of cognitive, reflective, and compassionate qualities.
The study states that engaging in self-reflective thinking regarding, “positive and negative aspects of human nature, …the inherent limits of knowledge, and life’s unpredictability and uncertainties,” takes us from the cognitive to reflective dimensions. Going through this process can help reduce “self-centeredness and increase acceptance of human nature and an awareness of the suffering of others.” This helps us develop greater sympathy and takes us from the reflective to the compassionate dimension.
What this all boils down to is…
Through cultivating our wisdom, we are able to reduce feelings of loneliness and increase feelings of connectedness in the face of adversity.
This is exactly the situation we have found ourselves during the COVID pandemic — many people are isolated, disconnected, and lonely.
If we break it down step-by-step:
Cognitive — Identify concepts
Reflective — Reflect for insight
Compassionate — Embody realization
The process:
Cognitive:
Identify positive and negative aspects of a situation (or human nature in general)
Acknowledge ambiguity and uncertainty
Identify important decisions despite unpredictability and uncertainty
Reflective:
Be willing to look at phenomena and events from different perspectives
Reduce subjectivity and projections of events
Compassionate:
Develop positive and caring emotions and behavior towards others
Reduce indifference, negative attitudes, and behaviors towards others
You can view this information on a table here.
An easy way to engage with this process:
Write out, and journal about, your thoughts and ideas regarding a particular situation, idea, or topic. You can use the COVID epidemic as one example.
After journaling and writing out your thoughts and ideas, you can then engage in reflection using your writing to guide your process. Here is a list of reflection activities for teachers to use. While not all of these would be appropriate for this purpose, there are many that can be repurposed to guide your reflection.
Continue to reflect on your ideas and topics with your reasoning and analytical abilities until you find your mind arriving at realizations based on your inquiry. Continual reflection will lead to the embodiment of our realizations.
Engage in analytical meditation
This process is actually very similar to analytical mediation. If you are familiar with the practice, putting this all together leads to a form of analytical mediation that can be used to actively develop the qualities of wisdom and compassion.
Generally, when we discuss mediation, conversation leads to mindfulness and breathing meditation. But, mediation is so much more and is such a rich tradition.
Analytical meditation uses the same principles as mindfulness — focus, concentration, steady mind — to deconstruct and observe our ideas and concepts so fully that our mind understands and integrates fully with the object of our meditation. This process can lead us to experience new insights and completely transform our understanding of various phenomena.
While practicing analytic mediation would require a full-length post to describe on its own, it can be useful to explore. In my effort to provide a helpful resource for understanding analytical mediation, this is the better resource I was able to find.
In summary
Regardless of how you choose to engage with the process of cultivating the quality of wisdom in your life, this process can help guide you there. Developing the quality of wisdom in our life can help us improve our well-being, reduce feelings of loneliness, feel more connected, and be happier.
Sign me up please!
